i was drawn to the ocean

Tons more rain today.  During a quick break from the rain, i took the dogs out.  It was like stepping into a sauna.  Also, have i mentioned we don't have air conditioning in our car?  That should make going out tonight interesting.  :-/

Which brings me to...
Tonight's the night.  i'm getting my tattoo (it will be very similar to the icon used here) done and i am still. so. fucking. nervous.  i will definitely have to take a lorazepam (and some Tylenol) before going.

i just don't understand why i'm so nervous.  Surely i have handled much worse.  i just want to get past this nervous anticipation.  i feel sick.

i think i'd rather go back to no luck at all...

One big thing and lots of little things happened today, that were definitely NOT lucky.  Milena called on her way home from work.  She'd been in an accident.  She was rear-ended by a semi.  Fortunately, she was in slow-moving rush hour traffic and she was stopped and the truck was going very slowly (i think she said about 16 mph) so she wasn't badly hurt.  It definitely definitely could have been MUCH worse.  She went to the hospital to get checked out and after a couple hours they sent her off with prescriptions for painkillers and muscle relaxers.  kerinda drove down to take me to the hospital to meet Milena after John picked up the kids.  Milena's pretty sore, and i'm sure it'll be even worse tomorrow, but, again, it definitely could have been worse.  The car is driveable but will need major repair, may even be totalled depending on damage to the chassis.   

As for the little things, none of it matters in the grand scheme of things-- Lolo got out not once, not twice, but three times today.  Avery and Evan both have colds.  Aiden peed his pants.  That kind of thing.

Now how about some grats?!

Friday Night Gratitude List:
~ Milena's accident was relatively minor and she wasn't severely injured or worse
~ kerinda's helpfulness and friendship
~ hope
~ trying new things
~ beautiful classic October Blue Sky today
~ beautiful Blood Moon tonight
~ friends, old and new
~ having things to look forward to

Word of the day is
ungulate - having hooves

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Milena got a new-to-her car yesterday.  Her Saturn was in pretty rough shape, the loan was in negative equity, and we didn't even want to *think* about how much it would cost to fix it.  We looked around at several vehicles and at several dealerships both online and in person.  We dealt with a lot of fast-talking jerks and eventually found our way right back here to West Chester.  We HIGHLY recommend Lakota Auto Sales & Leasing to anyone.  It's a small operation, just the owner, a salesman, and a mechanic from what i can tell.  They treated us fairly and with kindness, even though we are a lesbian couple here in conservative West Chester!  They were able to work out a very good financing deal for Milena through US Bank and we went and did all the paperwork and got the car yesterday.  It's a 2004 Chrysler Sebring.  We're very happy with it. 

1. the adorable six week old kitten we brought home with us today who is still nameless...we're working on it...pictures soon.
2. the itty bitty vehicular accident i had earlier caused no damage to any human, vehicle, or anything else
3. Milena's car managed to get us home after the belt broke but before it completely blew up
4. the Harvest Moon
5. when people are nice like the cart boy and the cashier at Kroger, and not nasty and unsympathetic like the manager at Kroger who wouldn't take my points and give me a gift card because it was after 10 p.m.

I've recently culled my friends list a bit. Please don't be offended if you were removed--it's just perhaps I don't think we're really "connecting" any more, or that we just don't really have much in common. These things can change, as is life. Most likely, I'll still read your entries and comment from time to time.

Evan had his 4 month check up. He was 13 lbs, 5 oz and 24 inches long. Head was 16.75 I think...anyway he was 25/50/50. My boy's getting lanky! Imagine that...

Dr. Kelly is so great. We had such a nice visit.

We went to Kroger tonight and ran into someone that we used to know. When we lived in Ludlow, she and her 2 daughters and her bf were our next door neighbors. We weren't really friends but we hung sometimes b/c we were neighbors. She was always kind of white-trashy, the bf was always the one who was responsible, kept things together, that kind of thing. I'll call her M. The bf is Z.

So here's M at Kroger. First thing I notice is she's gained a TON of weight...now I'm the last person on earth to care if someone's gained weight, because I am quite good at that myself, lol. In fact, I am probably about 50 lbs heavier than when we were neighbors...Second thing I notice is she has another child, a boy, 2 years old, and very obviously not Z's (different race) Her daughters and some lady were also with her. Her dd's looked okay, clean and cared for, I was glad to see that. M didn't look very clean and cared for herself. So we're talking about Evan, she asked how old he was, and then she tells me that she had another daughter who died on Nov. 5 2002 at 2 months old, and the coroner won't get back to her with the autopsy results, and they have decided that it wasn't homicide of any kind, but don't think it was just SIDS. Of course I told her how sorry I was to hear that. I told her she should contact Legal Aid to try to get help dealing with the coroner/police/medical records/etc. She then tells me she wants to have another child. She has been evicted from just about every apartment she's had, I have seen the living conditions of the way she lives, it is horrible! Extreme pet feces odor, cigarette butts everywhere, smokes around her babies, food left out for long periods of time. And now she is living in a VERY bad area, has never been able to hold down a job, and Z is no longer her bf. In fact, the other lady with her was Z's current gf, they're all friends apparently. So she mentions her son, but doesn't mention a dad or anything. I don't know...the whole thing just really made me feel down. Sad. Sigh.

The other day, somebody rear-ended me and when I pulled over they drove off. Everybody was fine, no damage to speak of to my car, but that's just not right! I have their license plate number. It was a car full of young guys, either teenagers or college-aged. I want them to get in trouble for running off...I mean what if one of my children had been hurt or something!?

gratitude list:
1. nobody was hurt/car wasn't damaged in the incident
2. hope
3. my family
4. reconciliations
5. my friends

Our digital camera came today! Yay!!!!

John and I were planning to go back to WW next week, but earlier this evening, we decided to go ahead and go tomorrow (meaning Saturday morning) to get started! :-) woo hoo!