i was drawn to the ocean

i finally finished reading Brave New World.  i started it back in, what?  March?  February, maybe?  As evidenced by how long i took to get through it, i did not like the book.

The beginning was engaging, and the last twenty or so pages were riveting, but everything in the middle made me want to just put down the book and take a nap.  i found Huxley's tone/writing style to be pedantic and condescending, and his character development  seemed to really lag.  But, i finally read it!

i liked 1984 much, much, much better.

The eljays are quiet today.  There hasn't been an entry on my flist since about 3 p.m.!    i suppose i'll just post grats and then have Milena wash and lotion the tattoo for me.

Thursday Night Gratitude List:

• Mom-gail
• Milena's love and helpfulness
• Words of appreciation
• Words of support
• Got some leg exercises in at the pool today
• Was able to keep my tattoo completely covered and dry while at the pool today
• spajunkie17
• box_o_spiders
• The kids were pretty good today
• My children
• Finally read some more of Brave New World and i'm almost done with it now!
• My friends and chosen family
• My tattoo
• Going to bed soon
• Having all these grats!

enthrallednsac and i were recently talking about change, and how difficult it can be, even when it's a good or pleasant change.  i was reminded of a very apt quotation i once read, something to the effect of change in one's life being like a series of little deaths.  i remember writing about it here in my LJ but apparently i didn't tag the post, and now i can't find the post, or the exact quotation, anywhere.  i did, however, find this wonderful piece about change and thought i'd share it with you all.  i'm posting it especially for you, enthrallednsac, but i think the rest of you will enjoy it, too.  It's not very long, and is a deliciously thought-provoking, affirming, compelling essay from The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.  Go read.

Change ...
The Little Death  

Most of us live according to a preordained plan that we have created. Our lives become repetitive and seemingly safe. We hide our fear of change and impermanence by surrounding ourselves with more and more things and more and more comforts. We wonder how we can possibly enjoy anything without owning it. Soon all our time and energy is exhausted by simply maintaining our possessions and preplanned lifestyle. We resist change. When changes do happen, we find the quickest remedy, one that will not thwart our so-called "progress" in the world.

 

the rest

Confession time.







i have never read any of the Harry Potter books.  Not even a single sentence.  i have, at times, been curious as to what all the hype is about, and have considered reading them, but have never been motivated enough to do so.  With the final book coming out/already being available, my lack of HarryPottitude is once again pushed toward the front burner.  So let me ask you, especially those of you who know me well, do you think i'd like the HP books? 

In fact, how about a nice LJ poll.  'Cause it isn't a real i-want-your-opinion post until there's a poll involved, dontcha know.

Word of the day is
boomtown - a town that has grown very rapidly as a result of sudden prosperity or experiencing an economic or a population boom

And now, some more cool stuff...

Things i didn't know until the past couple of days:

Ted Turner was born and lived in Cincinnati until the age of 9

Andy Williams lived in Cincinnati and graduated from Western Hills High School

TBS's 2004 Reality TV show The Mansion was filmed in Cincinnati at an estate in the Green Township/Covedale area.

Steven Spielberg was born in Cincinnati

There is a sign museum in Cincinnati!

Central Parkway was originally the site of the Miami and Erie Canal

Charles Manson was born in Cincinnati to a 16-year-old destitute prostitute, and he attended Walnut Hills High School.

The Licking River actually flows northwest.  And the Nile flows north!

Angel Falls - the highest uninterrupted falls in the world.

It take four days just to manufacture the ladder for a firetruck.

El Camino de la Muerte in Bolivia is quite possibly the world's most dangerous road.          Here's why.   Here a couple of more links about it.  Scroll down, read a bit, look at the pictures....   Yikes!
http://www.boliviangeographic.com/yungas_road.htm
http://javimoya.com/blog/pics/200607/bolivia.htm

The source of the Ohio River is the confluence of the Allegheny and Monongahela rivers at Point State Park in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Cincinnati is home to many wall lizards.  Here's a picture of one:


The Amazon River's source was confirmed in 2001 to be high in the Andes mountains of Peru at a peak called Nevado Mismi.  i can hardly believe that this is an actual picture of it.  The great Amazon River's origin, marked by a lone cross on this glacial cliff.



MORE COOL STUFF:

Here you can learn more about continental drift and plate tectonics.  Very cool stuff.

This website has LOTS of cool pictures of the Greater Cincinnati area, as well as some other cities of the world.  There are pictures of a war protest in Cincinnati, many of Cincinnati's diverse neighborhoods and beautiful architecture, Ludlow KY where i used to live, the Anderson Ferry, and even lots of historic photos.  Check it out, it's worth the time!  Be sure to browse through all the pages.

i've also realized that i've never yet been to the Cincinnati Art Museum or to the Taft Museum.  Or to Mt. Storm Park or Ault Park or Mt. Echo Park.  This must all be remedied.  Indeed.

Hell's Kitchen

All kinds of cool information about the Galapagos Islands.                  And check out these tortoises!


"Indigenous Knowledge and Bioprospecting" -Painted by John Hunter


The History Channel, which i don't usually care much for (because it seems to be all Hitler Hitler Hitler) will be airing a documentary about the Illuminati, an ancient brotherhood whose current existence is explored in my favourite Dan Brown book, Angels and Demons.  i'm really looking forward to watching this, and getting some laundry and knitting done while doing so.  :-)

i've finished The Red Tent.  It's definitely one of my favourite books, right up there with The Secret Life of Bees and Confessions of a Pagan Nun.  It was wonderful and thought-provoking, humbling and affirming, satisfying and question-raising.  i've already re-read several portions of it, connecting dots and refreshing my overloaded memory.  i know that this is a book i will love to read over and over again.

Milena and i have the house entirely to ourselves (save the furbabies, of course) until midday Monday.  It has been a long LONG time since we've been alone like this-- no kids, no Tara, no Shelby, no having to pack/move, no having to go to Henderson.  We both want to take full advantage of it and spend lots of time together but at the same time we are both so very exhausted that we find ourselves just wanting to sleep.  We took a nap earlier and when i woke i could smell a fire outside, like someone had a campfire going, and so i woke wanting nothing more than to pull our fire pit out of the garage and have a nice fire outside.  Alas, the rain kept us from doing so.  Maybe another day.

i am loving - LOVING - this cooler weather and i wish it would last but i am all too acquainted with the 80some degree weather that we Cincinnatians often experience throughout September.  What i am not loving is the pain that the dampness is bringing to my joints, especially my knees.  Sometimes i am so angry at myself for wasting my youth.  Now, in a little over a year i'll be 30 and i've let myself get to the point where i have the body of someone nearly twice my age.  My tardive dyskinesia is acting up really badly, too.  It hasn't been this bad in a very long time.  My jaw is twitching even when i am not speaking, even as i just sit here and type.  It's frustrating, slightly painful, and very irritating.  It makes me want to cry.

i've been remiss in doing grat lists lately and with the negativity of my last paragraph it would seem that composing one tonight is just what i need.

Saturday Night Gratitude List:
~ Milena
~ doss
~ the cooler weather the past couple days
~ that Milena and i still have real conversations
~ random acts of kindness

After over three years of wanting to read The Red Tent, i have finally gotten around to it!  i'm about halfway through and.... wow. 

i am not doing so well today. i feel profoundly empty and sad. i think it is probably hormonal. *shrugs* But i have gotten quite a bit accomplished today, so that is good. i took out the trash, tidied the living room, office, and kitchen, did several loads of laundry, folded several loads of laundry, made lunch and dinner, made fresh iced tea, refilled the ice trays twice...i'm sure there's more but i can't remember right now. Dinner tonight was turkey meatloaf, green beans, mashed potatoes, and drop biscuits. i only dropped them from the spoon onto the stone though, not onto the floor or anything. So that's good. i feel very destructive. i have fantasized about ripping off the ugly wallpaper in the kitchen with my bare hands, about going nuts with spray paint (don't worry, we don't even have any) and other stuff that i don't really feel like mentioning here and now. i am working on channeling that destructive energy into a more positive, creative energy. That would be better.

i really, really wish my dad loved me. And i really, really wish that i didn't care that he doesn't.

i'm also feeling the need to make music...to play my flute or to drum or chant or do Stomp-ish things.

Beauiful October, dazzling me with your brilliant crimsons and saffrons, soothing me with your sage and earthy timbers, you are a harbinger of death, indeed. But there is no ending without a new beginning. My online name used to be dancingleaf. Some of you will probably remember that.

Enough random babbling...and now for something completely not different at all.

Gratitude List:
1. Milena
2. xoraclex
3. minxieone
4. kerinda
5. KISSING THE WITCH, the absolutely delightful book that box_o_spiders loaned me
6. ideas
7. restraint/self-control
8. being able to be helpful
9. being able to be helped
10. October
11. learning
12. my love of reading
13. MaryGina
14. memories
15. weather.com
16. Live Journal
17. trying new things
18. hope

Gratitude List:
1. Milena
2. my friends/chosen family
3. finally getting around to reading Confessions of a Pagan Nun and so far enjoying it more than i anticipated
4. understanding/compassion
5. the tranquility of letting go
6. spirituality
7. crickets
8. my love of reading
9. openness

John was supposed to have the boys this weekend but he took them to his mom's because he had a Con to go to, not too far from where she lives.

Yesterday, Milena had to work, and i spent the day battling some pretty heavy paranoia and negativity. i made one of her favourites for dinner since she'd had a rough day...spicy bean and cheese soup. i also made some cinnamon couscous which was teh yum. Milena said she might heat some up for breakfast in the morning with butter and brown sugar in it.

Saturday evening, V (kerinda) came over bearing snackly food and Margarita mix! :-D i also mixed up my current favourite drinks (if you really want to know, i'll tell you, but the name is quite bawdy) which was equally well-received. V and i both got a bit tipsy, and though Milena drank a little of the Margaritas i don't think she quite reached the tipsy point. So we chatted and played some Animal Crossing and i looked for some documents that i need to find in my filebox. After V left, i played around on the Internet and Milena picked up my copy of Where the Heart Is and proceeded to read the entire thing by the time we went to sleep. She concurs with me that the book is better than the movie. That is usually the case, eh. Soon i want her to read Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood since she's already seen that movie, and that is *definitely* a classic case of the book being far better than the movie. It was well after 3 a.m., if not 4, by the time we went to sleep.

Today (Sunday) we slept REALLY late. Even so, it's been a fairly productive day. We had a somewhat early dinner, as we'd slept through the traditional breakfast and lunch times, and then headed out to Kroger. We took a wrong turn off the exit though (still learning our way around up here) but i think it was destined to happen. We passed a house that had a stove sitting out on the curb with a sign on it that said "WORKS - FREE." Don't laugh. We need a "new" stove because the one in this house is missing the insulation from the front of the oven door, so we can't use the oven and it looks hideous. And at least 2 of the burners on the stove don't work. So we figured hey, free stove. Boy did i feel like a redneck getting out of the car and walking up to that curbside stove to check 'er out. LOL. Well, it's old, but it's a GE, and with a little elbow grease and Goo Gone, it'll suit us just fine. V and her wonderfully helpful J came out with their van to help us get it home (thanks again, guys!) and then we made attempt #2 to go to Kroger. This time we were successful, and we picked up a few bare necessities as we're broker than *^$#, as well as several local/regional papers, got some gas so Milena could get to and from work tomorrow, and then came back home.

When we got home, we discovered our first voicemail on our new phone line! It was his_redrhapsody calling all the way from sunny California! Hi, Sweetie! Thanks for calling! i really enjoyed your recent posts! :-D

So the last several hours have been spent getting the boys settled back down/in after John brought them back, doing laundry, and going through, let's see here...no less than half a dozen papers scoping out the job market. Several good leads have been found for Milena, and hopefully she'll be able to take a week's vacation the week of the 22nd so she can be available for interviews, pavement-pounding, etc. This coming week she is going to be uber-busy and working insane hours because R will be on vacation. i'm trying to make things easier for her by making sure she has yummy leftovers to take for lunch, and organizing these job leads for her to follow up on. So far, i've made an "online" list (apply online, or send email resume) and a "call" list. There are 10 items on the "online" list and 20 items on the "call" list. That should be a decent start for her. Then tomorrow during the day, i'm going to go through the last, and biggest paper, and organize follow-up information from that for her.

i also got Gypsy's loo scooped, and the trash taken out. And Milena got two more sets of blinds put up this evening! We are getting there. :-)

For those that are wondering, the thing i was hoping for didn't happen. It may still happen, in fact it *has* to happen, or we'll be in serious trouble. So keep sending those positive vibes/energy/prayers/candle lighting, whatever speaks to you to try to help us influence this situation. i have been lighting candles and incense, and i made what i felt to be appropriate offerings. Perhaps tomorrow i'll have better news to impart.

Tonight's Grat List:
1. finding that stove
2. V and J helped us transport said stove
3. i got a few rows of knitting done, not much i know, but it's something
4. hope
5. didn't struggle as much with the paranoia today, although i have been verrrry irritable...i think that's just PMS...

and now, g'night!

oy.

I don't usually like sci-fi shows at ALL, but SG-1 has really grown on me, and Richard Dean Anderson is cool!

It is so nice out tonight. I LOVE AUTUMN!!!!!

Picked up a housewarming gift for John and Jen, as well as Mark and Zane's Christmas present.

My knees and back have been really hurting today. John put some tea tree oil salve on my back for me and it really seemed to help.

I love iced tea!

Great, I think I just lost part of a filling...me and my dental problems! Ugggg!

I finished reading NATURAL BABYCARE and was uber impressed with it! I just started reading THE ADD BOOK by Dr. Sears,and so far I am finding it to be very insightful.

I think that the girl on SG-1 looks like she could be McKenzie Westmore's sister...she's not, I know, but I really think they are similar in appearance.

Evan looks so cute today in his little onesie and green pants!

Matthew was off school today, my dad came and got him around 1:30 and spent most of the rest of the day with him. Dad and Mary Kay took Matthew to lunch at Skyline and then they went out to Lawrenceburg to go to the Super Wal Mart. Matthew had a good time. It looks like Dad is going to be going to Iraq. He was told it's not a matter of if, but when. Used to be, reserves were only activated for 6 months, but he was told that he could be activated for 1-2 years when activated. He has already gotten the "first call" which I guess is a sort of preliminary alert type thing, and when his unit is officially activated, I think they only have to give him 48 hours notice. *heavy sigh*

When I was preg with my first child, I was on bed rest for a VERY long time so I got a lot of reading done! I read Dr. Sears' THE BABY BOOK, and quite honestly, I thought most of it was bunk! To me, it sounded like a bunch of extreme-radical hippie type stuff. I was so young and naive...

I didn't bf my 1st child Matthew, b/c he wouldn't latch on...this was before the hospital had round-the clock IBCLC's on board...anyway he ended up being bottle/formula fed. At that time, we lived in a one-bedroom apartment, so he slept in his crib, but right next to our bed in the same room. I didn't have a sling but I had a Snugli-type carrier. I only used it once or twice, because it was so uncomfortable with my abundant chest!

Matthew has always been a daddy's boy...he's six now and I think I really missed out on a lot of connection/bonding with him. He has ADHD and we have a really difficult time with his behaviour. I recently read THE DISCIPLINE BOOK by Dr. Sears, and found it to be very insightful.

Our 2nd child, Avery is now 19 months old. When he was born, at first I wasn't even going to try to bf him b/c of the probs I'd had with nursing Matthew. But it became really important to me to at least give it a shot. The first few days were very challenging, but then we had a great bf relationship. He ended up sleeping in our bed, b/c of being bf. By the time he was 3 weeks old, he would sleep from 12 am - 6 am. During the day, though, he wanted to nurse every 1.5-2 hours. He is a real momma's boy, and we have thoroughly enjoyed one another. When he was about 5 months old, we moved him into his crib, which was in our room, and he did just fine with that.

When I became preg with our 3rd baby, Evan, we moved into a house with my mom. She lives in the downstairs and we live in the upstairs. Anyway, there are 3 bedrooms, so we figured one room would be Matthew's, one would be ours, and the other would be a nursery for Avery and Evan. Evan, like Avery, had his own plans! :-) Evan is now 7 weeks old and he sleeps between mom and dad. I did use a NoJo sling with both Avery and Evan. I love my slings! And my boppys! I keep 2 slings--one in the house and one in the car; and 3 boppys--1 in the bedroom, 1 in the living room, and 1 in the car.

So anyway, with Matthew I almost rejected the ideals of attachment parenting, with Avery I AP'd without really even realizing we were doing it, and by the time Evan came along that had just simply become our way of parenting...

I have been so tired today. Avery still isn't feeling well. I'm really irritated that I haven't heard from Shannon, but I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt...maybe something happened. I hope nothing bad happened in her family or anything, but I also don't want to think that she's just not calling me. Well, if I don't hear from her by this after noon I'm going to do 2 things: 1. call Kathie and see if she said anything to her, and 2. make up a flyer to put up at Healthy Alternatives and maybe some other places so I can start interviewing other people.

It is such a beautiful day! It is so nice to have the windows open! Mom will probably bitch about her allergies but I don't care! It is too beautiful to shut the windows. Besides, I'm not totally heartless...I researched the local weather conditions online and right now the pollen is teetering between low and mild/moderate range...and the forecast calls for it to be even lower the next few days. She should be fine. If she has a really adverse reaction I guess I'll close up, but hopefully I won't have to.

I'm reading a great book right now. It's called NATURAL BABYCARE. This would be a great book even for people who don't have children, because it has a wealth of information and so many practical tips.

Well, I need to go check on Avery now.